When Her Words Had Me Shook
A few weeks ago, in the middle of my work week, I found myself caring for a patient. She and I, both “women of a certain age,” ended up talking about peri-menopausal symptoms. As these conversations often do, it naturally flowed into a discussion about aging.
She mentioned that the lines on her face made her feel older. Then she looked at me, assumed I was in my early forties, and said it was my hair that aged me, suggesting that my face looked younger.
If you have been following along with my journey, you know I have made peace with my silver hair. I let go of the drugstore box dye a while back, and I love the freedom of embracing what is natural. Her comment did not offend me. I just laughed and told her, “I actually turned 50 this year. And for the record, I think you are beautiful.”
That is when she said something that had me shook.
She told me no other woman had ever said something like that to her. She went on to explain that women, in her experience, had always been catty, cutting her down instead of building her up.
Her honesty hit me hard. Because I realized how true that often is. Women can be quick to compare, compete, and criticize. We all know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of those sideways comments, the ones that sting and stick. And yet, why do we keep doing this to each other?
The truth is that every one of us is carrying something. Age, weight, health, career struggles, family worries, grief, hormones, you name it. Tearing each other down does not lighten the load for anyone. It just adds more.
But imagine if we flipped the script. Imagine if more of us said out loud the things we think but do not say:
“You look beautiful.”
“You inspire me.”
“You are doing a great job.”
“I see you and I admire you.”
That single exchange with my patient reminded me that it costs nothing to be kind, but it can mean everything to someone else.
So here is the challenge, for myself and for you too: This week, go out of your way to build another woman up. Compliment her hair. Notice her effort. Acknowledge her presence. Be the voice that encourages, not the one that tears down.
Because we already have enough weight to carry. Let us not be the reason another woman feels small. Let us be the reason she walks away feeling stronger.
✨ CTA: I would love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever received an unexpected compliment that changed your day? Share it in the comments below, or pass this post along to a friend who might need the reminder that she is seen and celebrated.
With Love from Mabank,
Brandy
