When Midlife Hurts: Living with Chronic Back Pain and the Lessons It's Teaching Me
It’s not just a twinge anymore. It’s life-altering. And it deserves more than silence.
There’s a moment, somewhere in your 40s or 50s when an ache turns into something else.
Not just “I slept wrong,” or “I must’ve twisted funny,” but something chronic. Lingering. Disruptive. And in my case? Downright miserable.
For me, it’s my back. What started as a dull ache has become a daily companion that’s interfered with everything from bending over to tie my shoes to getting a decent night’s sleep. It's been over five years of slow, steady decline, and I’m tired.
What I’ve Tried:
Let’s just say... everything.
Yoga? Helped, until it didn’t. Some moves even made it worse.
Stretches? A daily routine that sometimes brings relief sometimes not.
Weight loss? I’ve worked hard on that (gastric sleeve in 2019), and while it’s helped in some ways, it hasn’t “fixed” this.
TENS unit, foam rollers, posture braces, ergonomic chairs... I could open a store.
Physical therapy? Yep.
Medial branch blocks? Had two.
Radiofrequency ablation? Did the right side the left side is scheduled.
Some days, I feel hopeful. Other days, I cry in the car after work because it hurts just to sit.
Midlife Isn’t “Too Late” But It Is Different
One of the most frustrating things about midlife injuries is how different our bodies respond. We don’t bounce back like we used to. We have to manage pain rather than cure it. We have to adapt, pivot, and keep advocating for ourselves even when we feel ignored or exhausted.
What I’ve Learned (So Far):
Pain is physical and emotional. Living with it long-term affects your mood, your relationships, even your identity.
You have to fight for care. Insurance red tape, long referral processes, and dismissive providers can wear you down. Don’t give up.
Movement is still medicine. I’m learning which stretches help, which don’t, and that gentle consistency matters more than occasional intensity.
Mindset matters but it’s not everything. Positive thinking is important. But it doesn’t make pain disappear. We need real solutions, too.
To Anyone Else Hurting in Midlife:
You’re not alone. And you’re not weak. You’re navigating a new relationship with your body one that requires patience, boundaries, and grace.
If you’ve been dismissed or told “it’s just part of getting older,” I see you. If you’ve spent more on heating pads and co-pays than you ever imagined, I get it. This is part of the midlife story too the part we don’t talk about enough.
And maybe, just maybe, sharing it is one small step toward healing.
With Love From Mabank
Brandy
