What I Thought Turning 50 Would Be Like — And What It Actually Was

I turned 50 on May 13. And truth be told? I was ready.

Not in a “bring on the balloons and Botox” kind of way… but in a grounded, soul-deep, peaceful kind of way.
A kind of ready that doesn’t come from a number on a cake — it comes from knowing exactly who you are, and not needing to explain it to anyone.

What I Thought 50 Would Be Like

I used to think 50 meant beige sweaters and early dinners.
A slow, silent slide into invisibility.
That word — “middle-aged” — felt like a label slapped on a woman in sensible shoes, eating low-sodium soup, and watching life from the sidelines.

I thought it would feel like less.

Less wanted. Less vibrant. Less seen.

And maybe, way back, I feared it would mean I had to start shrinking — to fit inside other people’s expectations of what aging should look like.

What It’s Actually Like

Let me tell you what turning 50 really feels like:

It feels like peace.
It feels like not explaining your “no.”
It feels like laughing at your own jokes and not caring who laughs with you.
It feels like grey hair, bare skin, soft curves, and strong boundaries.
It feels like knowing what lights you up — and letting everything else fall away.

50 is not fading.
It’s focusing.

I’m not trying to be younger. I’m just trying to be honest.
And at 50, I finally feel like I don’t owe the world pretty, polite, or perfect.

I owe it real.

A Little Surprise

What’s surprised me most is how much I like this version of me.
She’s not desperate to be understood. She’s not performing. She’s just… here. Fully.

And that?
That’s a damn gift.

Tell Me This...

If you’re coming up on 50 — how are you feeling about it? Nervous? Excited? At peace like I was?

If you’re already there — what surprised you the most?

Drop it in the comments or message me. I’d love to share the view from here.